Day 19: You Are Understood

Along with the need to be loved, people desire to be understood. To hear someone and truly understand where they are at, what makes them excited, what tears them down. To laugh when they do and to cry when they do. The idea that words do oh so very little in some moments. Instead, it’s the connection that has no words, just a feeling, that really makes us feel most alive.

I remember the first time that I found someone else who struggles with an autoimmune disease and the bond that that created almost instantly. Talking about how I felt, what was going on, it took pressure off of me to perform a certain way. I didn’t feel like no matter what I said, she would only understand the fraction that I could convey in words and mangle into sentences. No, she understood me.

Since then, I have found others who have looked me in the eye and from the look in theirs, I know they just get it. I can’t express what that means: the sentences that can be left unfinished with “you know what I mean?” and a nod to make sense. To both parties.

Oh, we long for that, don’t we? Because words, they really do fall short of what we mean at times. But God, he knows exactly what we need as well as what we want. That is something that I have learned about God recently, or at least reminded of it.

I was writing the other day in my journal, and this is what I wrote: It is interesting to me to note that for a very long time that I have been telling my friends that I have been longing for something that resembles normal. For so long, I have combatted feelings of loneliness in needing more breaks than the people around me, not being able to achieve the goals that I had planned. I even feel like there were times when I demanded that the people I cared about at least stop and listen to what I was going through.

And now, the whole world feels stopped in some ways. No one feels like they have a normal. But they do… what they do have is a new normal. It’s something many of us don’t like. Yet, it’s something everyone understands.

Struggling with this autoimmune disease is something that I wish people understood. I never want anyone else to know what it’s like, the things I go through everyday (whether because it’s just my reality or because it is fabricated in my mind). But still, I wish they could just understand.

Thankfully, I know that God understands me and where I am at. He has never left my side for a single moment of it. Psalm 147:5 says, “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit” (NIV). Although we are at times confused by where we are at, God never is. He is forever with us and we can trust him and lean on His understanding rather than our own (Proverbs 3:5-6); He knows where we are going and we can believe He has our best in mind.

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