I find it important to note that there is a huge distinction between the moment I recognized God as my savior and the moment I recognized Him as my Lord. I knew from a young age that I was in need of some saving grace. I fought to be the best Christian I could for what felt like a long time until one day, when I was thirteen, I realized that I didn’t need me to be good in order to earn His love.
I think back to the beginning of my walk with Jesus as 100% devoted, and yet quite confused about how my relationship with God was “supposed” to work. I knew I was to read God’s Word and know His Word (Psalm 119:11), but I didn’t always feel like it. I was sure that being kind to other people around me was a good thing, but it didn’t spring for my love for God in any capacity.
It reminds me of how the disciples followed Jesus at the beginning differently than they did after His death and resurrection. When Jesus approached them at first, they were amazed by the miracles that He performed (Luke 5:1-11). After He rose again, His followers grew in numbers rapidly (Acts 2:14-47) and were even willing to die for their faith.
When Jesus first called the twelve to follow Him, they did so willingly and immediately. But they didn’t know who they were following and their reasons were wrong. As soon as they came to know God at a personal level and understand the depth of what Jesus had called them to, they followed with a completely different type of devotion. They were no longer fearful followers who ran and denied Christ; they were now emboldened believers in God. May we live like the second, knowing our convictions and why we follow God.
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