Allow Yourself Those Days

Sundays

It’s crucial to me that I insist to myself that I need a spiritual reset. Thinking back to my high school chemistry class where there was this one button on the digital scale that us students were “not to touch under any circumstance.” And inevitably, a classmate decided to intentionally touch the button labeled “calibrate” to see what happened. The calibration was set to the weight of the beakers we were using to weigh the copper tinsel in, and by having the scale recalibrate with nothing on it, the scale was now no longer weighing just the copper. These are days where my reset and focus are all about Christ and that is the measurement that I want to be living by! It’s important to have those “Sundays”.

Mondays

There was this one Monday back at the beginning of March where I spent literally so many hours in bed that I almost lost count. I skipped church because I was experiencing so much back pain (sorry, but that is just a really bad reason since it happens a lot…), and then I didn’t get up the entire Sunday.  I should have forced myself to move so my spine didn’t stiffen more, but I didn’t. When I woke up Monday morning, I didn’t have any classes to go to, but I called off my six-hour shift at work. My sister and girls from my hall came all day and brought me food, did my laundry, tried to massage my back muscles to release some of the tension. I could barely get up most of the day, and I had people helping me right across the hall just to use the restroom. It was super embarrassing and very humbling to realize that I was basically functioning off of them until I regained my strength and the pain subsided. I didn’t want to have to call up those people and ask for help. But it’s ok to have those “Mondays”.

Tuesdays

It was one of those rainy, dreary days where the forecast predicted “scattered showers” from dawn till dusk. “Perfect; it matches my mood.” So I smothered on dark purple lipstick and walked out the door of my dorm. I made my way across the entire campus to get to class. Now, on a sunny day, it would take at least 15 minutes to walk. There is a bus, but there’s no fun in taking the bus on such a wet and miserable day. I arrived at my class ten minutes late (because I felt like it) and walked in to find half of my classmates aren’t even there. Class had not started yet, and I no longer just looked slightly emo, I was now wet and emo-looking. Joy. I took off my heavy winter coat and plopped it into an empty plastic chair between me and the classmate who also sat in the front row. By the end of class, the chair had a decent sized puddle and my coat was still wet. I shrugged it back on and walked back across campus in the rain. Honestly, it’s ok to have those “Tuesdays”.

Wednesdays

There was a day back in April where outside was all sunny and sparkly and I was at work conveniently inside avoiding the heat. While at work, I got some really nice compliments and had a great day in general. And when I got off work, I showered and then curled my hair. Maybe this sounds stupid, but curling my hair is fun (aside from me burning all my fingers every time), and it makes me happy. I met my twin sister outside for the last 20 minutes before the sun went down. Kyli and I were just outside in sundresses with curled hair and makeup while typing up poetry on our computers. It’s fun to have those “Wednesdays”.

Thursday

I walked into work and I didn’t even want to talk to anyone. I forgot about my parents’ 25 wedding anniversary. I felt like I was doing my job badly. I was going to celebrate my 19th birthday in a couple of weeks, but it’s is the first year my parents won’t be celebrating with me in person. I was feeling down about some really important friendships. I couldn’t get my kids at camp to listen to me. I really wanted to sleep because I was more than tired; I was exhausted. I hadn’t eaten for way too long because I hadn’t had the energy to make food that morning. Or the night before. And then I started crying; since we were in the middle of lunch, all the kids and staff were seeing me cry, but I didn’t care at that point. My director and assistant director ended up listening to me rant about my misbehaving kids, they fed me, required me to take a twenty-minute break, and then sent me back to work. I made it through the rest of the day sort of fazed and quite frankly was not the easiest person to work with. And then I went home and cried about it and prayed about it. The next day I’m fine again. It’s alright that you need to work through “Thursdays”.

Friday

This upcoming semester, I am super excited to be part of a team titled Vision Ministries. We will have the great opportunity to travel and share the gospel with churches and groups of kids along the east coast. My first interview for Vision Ministries was late one Friday night (it wasn’t super late, but it sort of got there) where I was tired and had been out late lots of those nights studying (or trying to, at least.) When I got to the interview part for the Discipleship Team, I got nervous that maybe what I had to say “wouldn’t be enough.” They gave me a chapter of the Bible (John 15) and said that after several minutes, they’d come back and see what I had to share on the passage. I spent the first five minutes slaving away trying to write an outline of the passage and what everything meant. And then as I prayed, I realized “What is here is what God wants to communicate to His people.” I spent the remainder of the time just rereading the passage several times through. I finished my fourth time and was on my fifth reading of John 15 when they came and asked me if I was ready. And I cannot explain how ready I was. The few minutes I spent reading the Word and just praying over the Truth was what calmed my spirit. I knew what God was telling me through that passage, and I simply shared it with the people interviewing me. Anything I could have said at that moment likely “wouldn’t be enough.” But God’s word is always enough. It’s a blessing to have those “Fridays.”

Saturday

I walked into the cafeteria around 11:00 in the morning after washing the dishes and finally folding the laundry that I had washed two days ago. Lazy to the max… I hadn’t eaten yet, and I was hungry. Since I was in no particular rush, I made my way to the omelet bar. Usually, I don’t “waste my time” waiting, and I am honestly never there early enough to beat the rush of also-lazy/already-worked-out crowd. I then get into a conversation with the girl who is in front of me. We shared a surprising bit of common ground, laughing about concussions and autoimmune diseases (yes, we have learned to sometimes laugh at such things). When our omelets were finished, she invites me to join her and some of her friends for lunch. I love Liberty and how random relationships can be while still being really quality conversations full of spiritual encouragement! Allow yourself those “Saturdays”.

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