Grief was the strongest opponent I’ve ever faced. It stood undaunted in the midst of great circumstance. After finally getting ready and picking up my weapon, I just didn’t know how to wield it. It took me months before I figured how to aim well enough to every once in a while hit my challenge in the shoulder.
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Grief was the most crowded room inside my heart. When I wanted to run away, it would multiply and expand. It was like the beat of a million wings crashing into the walls of the room I squeezed them in, crashing into each other, a rhythmic beat that challenged the space it was locked in. It encroached upon the perimeter of my emotions until I caved and let it loose.
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Grief was the stealthiest adversary I’ve ever sought. It taunted the recesses of my inner core as if my life were a transparent one-way mirror where all I could see was myself. No matter where I looked, it was as if it was always one step ahead of me to the point that looking for it was nigh well useless. It hid in plain sight, staring me straight in the eye.
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Grief was the longest battle I’ve ever fought. I didn’t realize that I needed it; when I figured it out, I really didn’t want to deal with the pain and the fear. I fringed upon entering the fighting ring for so long that it was as if I was getting pounded over and over again but never getting close enough to throw a punch.
Grief was the shortest victory I’ve ever won. When I finally looked at the tears running down my face, when I stopped trying to drown out the voices I had within, when I turned to hear truth, I no longer needed to fight. It is as if I needed to let it be heard so that I could learn to work with it.
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